In addition to bizarre full-page ads like the one I mentioned two days ago, another pleasurable thing about the dead-tree version of newspapers is the ironic juxtaposition of articles and opinion pieces. For example, on Sunday in hte NYT there was a smart article about how in light of Rod Blagojevich (and the other 3 governors who appointed interim senators) the 17th Amendment should be updated so that, as with House vacancies, Senate seats are filled by special election.
Adjacent to this highminded contribution to public discourse is the real estate occupied by Maureen Dowd. Her column was devoted to attacking David Paterson. She spends the first two paragraphs lionizing Rod Blagojevich, lavishing attention on his hair in that semi-ironic way she has of dabbling at arm’s length with girlish crushes on powerful public figures–so that you think she’s kidding when she’s really not.
The rest of her column is pretty amazing. While it’s fair to say that Paterson waited a weirdly long time to appoint Kirsten Gillibrand, Dowd takes an almost personal offense at how he didn’t appoint Caroline Kennedy.
The Democrats would have had another Kennedy int he Senate representing New York – Bobby’s niece and a smart, policy-oriented, civic-minded woman to whom the president feels deeply indebted in an era when every state has its hand out. Instead they have Gillibrand who voted against the Wall Street – as in New York – bailout bill.
Holy shit! First, this obsession with the Kennedys is too much. Why are they so fucking great? They’re mostly just tragic. Not even Bush got us closer to nuclear war than JFK did. He was a mediocre president, and that’s that. Bobby Kennedy was cool, but his assassination precluded him from doing much, either. Being his niece is not a qualification. It’s not even that interesting. As for “civic-minded” and “policy-oriented,” those terms are so vague as to encompass nearly everybody. They certainly don’t exclude Kirsten Gillibrand, about whom Dowd literally gossips:
The 42-year old Gillibrand, who has been in the House for only two years, is known as opportunisticc and sharp-elbowed. Tracy Flick is her nickname among colleagues int he New York delegation, many of whom were M.I.A. at her Albany announcement.
Fellow Democrats were warning Harry Reid on Friday that he was going to have his hands full with te new senator because she’s “a pain.”
That unattributed quote says it all. Maureen Dowd is a hypocrite and a malicious bitch. She can’t even come up with a decent adjective to pump up the dynastic cipher she so desperately wanted to crown, but she will totally parrot the most cowardly kind of innuendo–and if a man spoke publicly about Gillibrand this way Maureen Dowd would be the first to call him a sexist asshole.
Gillibrand is too moderate. But she won her election in 2006 in a Republican district and hopefully will lean leftward without the same electoral pressure. We’ll just have to see. Whereas Hillary Clinton, David Paterson, Andrew Cuomo and Caroline Kennedy are all married to or descended from prior politicians, Gillibrand is not. Unless she told Maureen Dowd to go fuck herself, there is nothing on the merits that suggests the process leading to her selection as senator was corrupt or inappropriate.
Except for, you know, that neighboring opinion piece that puts this whole shit fit into perspective.
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Putting Maureen Dowd into perspective, these are the most contemptible women in the world.
Suck the Rainbow 
The article you included at the end really kissed my grits. I had to ask myself why they focused on those least deserving of sympathy, whether it was some kind of moment where you finally realize that the NYT speaks for the Marie Antoinettes of today, or whether they were trying to show these shallow would-be Carrie Bradshaws in their true light. It’s so exasperating that if it’s really not a joke, then why aren’t more people going postal? People haven’t started to go 1970’s nuts like the movie Network. I’m totally ready for it! I want to see people setting McMansions on fire and fights on the FDR over who was at fault for knicking Bob Novak’s Corvette!
Here’s another NYT article that does injustice to the parakeet poop which all birdcages should be lined.
Ben Stein feeling sorry for a kept woman quasi-prostitute with a 0 down, $12,000 a month “inland” mansion, whose alimony and babydaddy are set to stop paying her fairytale way anymore.
Maureen Dowd did take it personally. She is a friend of Caroline and lives in a house JFK used to own. It doesn’t get much closer than that.
Maureen Dowd, Caroline Kennedy and the NYT are three topics on which you and the conservatives you like to call idiots are in complete agreement. I know you probably won’t take that as a compliment, but it’s meant as one. Good post.
Maureen Dowd has again exposed herself as a typical mediocre but elitist left-wing journalist who forgets that there is anymore to the USA than NYC.
Caroline Kennedy is no more deserving or qualified for a Senate Seat than the guy who greets me at the local Wal-Mart … Actually come to think of it, he can at least string a coherent sentence together and from I can surmise he is extremely policy oriented. He can recite the do’s and don’ts of Wal-Mart employee handbook better than anyone I know… That is what she means by policy oriented right?
I was absolutely blown away when after opining about the tragically stupid Caroline who has no political experience other than growing up in a political family, she cattily attacked Gillibrand as a 42 woman with only 2 years experience in the House of Representatives. My math isn’t great but isn’t that 2 years more of political experience than the inarticulate Kennedy? And what are the Kennedys known for?; Bootlegging, assassination, philandering, manslaughter, cheating, and irresponsible behavior?
She even goes so far as to accuse the Clintons and their friends for helping turn the tide on this nomination. What proof does she have that the Clintons had anything to do with it?
My god what next?
Whoa, comments section. I’m lovin it!
I guess MoDo really lights a fire under you people. In response to the above addenda, I would take issue with categorizing Dowd as “left-wing.” Even elitist has become a bit meaningless, but if it’s levied in the sense of “Maureen Dowd worships so openly at the throne of power that she has essentially lost all perspective, especially when it comes to evaluating political issues in terms of their effects on ordinary people,” than I completely agree. Sure, she’s a Democrat, but as with most prominent pundits, I think her exact location on a liberal-conservative spectrum is less important than her relationship with the established powers. Plus, she makes use of slightly watered-down Coulterisms when it comes to gender and Democratic figures.
Allen’s other point is a good one. I expressed frustration with reflexive Kennedy worship, as if New York voters should be bowled into submission when a Kennedy descends from their creepily-named compound expecting to receive a prominent political office. Allen notes that the Kennedys are corrupt, which is true. When I think “More and Better Democrats,” I don’t hope for “More Kennedys.”
I also agree that Dowd seems to take affront with an upstater being appointed to the Senate. The column connotes, “How can this yahoo pretend to understand our sophisticated ways, such as credit default swaps?” You can hear this all over the place, when people mention how the district has a lot of dairy farms. Of course, dairy farms might be doing better business than certain media conglomerates that have had to borrow against their ugly skyscrapers to stay afloat.