Two from Wyoming

In honor of the least populous state, home of Dick Cheney and a massive McCain landslide over Obama, here are two of my favorite photos from there.

Bosler, Wyoming. September 2008.

I made us turn around and stop when we passed this time-warp.

Moorcroft, Wyoming. September 2008.

If it’s hard to go long without eating burgers on a road trip, it’s even harder to avoid big breakfasts with pancakes, eggs, lots of coffee, etc.  Donna’s was one of the good ones.  The waitress, who called us “Hon,” almost added coffee to Elliott’s tea.  We each had a bit of a cold from camping out near the foot of Devil’s Tower the night before–which was totally a highlight of the entire three weeks. I know this photo isn’t a particular knockout, but it crystallizes an interesting moment.

The diner was panelled (fake, naturally), had a room in the back for special events, and a group of six or eight Mormons guys our age came in and prayed over their breakfast.  And people were smoking in there, which feels like a complete throwback by now.  Moorcroft is a small town, maybe 600 people, and there’s not much around  but beautiful country.  Devil’s Tower shows up a lot as a motif, but I don’t think they get too many tourists.  That was one of the best places.

I admit I cried a little

Yea!  We’ve now got a Muslim president who hates America!  I’m so happy, I could launch a rocket at Tel Aviv.  Abortions for all!  Michelle Obama: tell us what you really think.

So I’ve now been alive under five presidents.  (Funny how between 1963 and 1977 there were five presidents, and how there might also be five from 1981-2017, almost three times as long).  Hopefully this one will be better.  We could have done a lot worse.  You know, like we always have.

Little can be added to the voluminous discourse on how historical today really is, so I’ll skip it.  It’s a biggie, we get it.  I did notice, though, in the run-up to the whole affair, how Republicans were largely on their best behavior.  Let’s hope it stays that way among the rump caucus of dead-enders for a long while.  I heard George Radonovich, who represents Modesto in the House, on NPR and while he’s crazy and thinks everything that needs to happen is “socialist,” (to be expected) I also noticed that there is a tendency to see Obama’s inauguration as a triumph, at last, over slavery.

One of the reasons NPR pales beside the BBC is how they let things like that go.  Slavery.  That’s it?  What about the subsequent 130+ years of oppression which are still going on?  I’m not sure this squares well with history.  It reminds me of how, when the Democrats were in the Senate minority, the use of the filibuster was so contentious that a “Gang of 14” had to have a confab to prevent the chamber itself from imploding.  Now that Republicans regard it as simply what you use when you’re about to lose a vote, it’s become just another complex mechanism inherent to the legislative process.  Oh, that liberal media.

Also, seems like both Obama and Chief Justice Roberts kind of fucked up the oath a little bit.  How long before wingnuts take this as Birth Certificate Part II and claim Obama isn’t really the president?

And what about Aretha?  The hat.  Just faboo.  The Bush Administration ended when the fat lady sang.

OMG, hot!

Garage D’or

I took a walk through a new (new to me, that is) nabe in SF: Silver Terrace/Bayview. I’m not really sure where one ends and the other begins, but they look a lot like L.A.

3rd Street, the main drag and the street with the newest Muni streetcar line (the T) reminded me of Brooklyn. It had a lot of pedestrian traffic, more than almost any other non-downtown spot in this city. It seems the further you go from the expensive neighborhoods in the North of San Francisco, the more colorful things get. Silver Terrace was no exception. It’s a multiethnic area, and Bayview seems to be almost entirely black and Latino, which is why “nobody” goes there. And also why it’s pretty awesome. The houses are very well maintained, but that’s nothing new for San Francisco.

Le GarAge D’or:

There were so many more, but a lot of them had cars or people in the driveway, and I just don’t have Diane Arbus’s chutzpah. It’s so not a scary neighborhood whatsoever, and it’s more visually interesting than the pale-and-tan swaths of town I could never afford.

Wind Power

For years, there has been a plan to build a huge wind farm in Nantucket Sound, equidistant from Martha’s Vineyard, Nantucket island and mainland Massachusetts. It has been the target of fierce NIMBYism, almost certainly from people with second homes who think it will mar the view (of el mar). Also something about birds.

Ted Kennedy has been a big opponent, I’m guessing because the Kennedy Compound’s private sailing lanes would have to be slightly reoriented away from the turbines. Not a fan.

Even though this is the most ambitious wind farm idea in the US, ever. Even though it will save 1 million tons of CO2 annually, and reduce consumption of oil by 113 million barrels annually.

Even though this reduces the amount of oil that has to be shlepped through the Sound, and with it, the risk of spillage.

Even though there’s all of that, and, even weirder, the Bush Administration actually approved it, the opponents said this:

The Alliance to Protect Nantucket Sound, a group formed to fight the project, suggested that the Bush administration had unscrupulously rushed to approve it before President-elect Barack Obama takes office next week.

“They wanted some kind of a legacy,” said Audra Parker, the group’s executive director. “Cape Wind is far from a done deal, despite this favorable report.”

So…the Bush Administration is rushing this one through prematurely so that the incoming Obama people don’t reverse it? Can you imagine the audacity…nay, the temerity? All these people need to suck it, majorly. I mean, you fucking dickheads, this is exactly the kind of thing that needs to happen, everywhere. We need to carpet the earth and the ocean in windfarms, immediately.

What’s especially fucked up is that a big natural gas platform is about to go up int he Long Island Sound, and that faces far less opposition.

And the idea that windfarms are an eyesore is supremely irritating! They’re an example of amazing design and whenever I pass one, I feel like I’m driving through the future. They’re mesmerizing.

To prove it, here’s the ending of an episode of The Comeback with Lisa Kudrow (the dude disabled the embedding; skip to 4:26 for relevant part) featuring the windfarm near Palm Springs. The Comeback is the best show ever. Windfarms are the best power source ever.  Why doesn’t Ted Kennedy get it?  If you don’t like them, just remember that voting for Obama doesn’t mean you don’t suck.

The Worst Rationale for Gay Marriage. Period.

From the NYT letters-to-the-editor:

By failing to pass the marriage equality bill, which has been passed by the Assembly, the Senate is driving wedding business out of New York, hurting New York’s crumbling economy without stopping gay New Yorkers from assuming the rights and responsibilities of marriage.

All the bill effectively does is open marriage bureaus here to gay couples who either cannot afford the train fare to Greenwich, Conn., or who are too disabled to travel.

That is so gross!  “Let us marry or else we’ll take our hard-earned gay dollars to Connecticut.”  I just diarrhea’ed in my mouth.  This boils down to tall children threatening, “I have disposable income!  It’s enough money that me and other entitled people like me can get your attention by throwing it around!  Me wanty!”  Biggest White Whine ever.

Applying this rationale to other things in the world, you quickly find that New York should entice coal companies to build giant power plants in low-income areas of the Bronx before Pennsylvania lures them first.  It would provide shitty jobs for poor people and reduce electric rates for everyone.  And it would be good for the economy!  Just don’t site them where people who can afford train fare to Greenwich live–because they’ll move to Greenwich, and that would be bad.  And it is only just and prudent that there be no graduated income tax in New York either, otherwise rich people who can afford it will move to Greenwich.

Who knew that Greenwich, CT was also the capital of NYers’ empty threats?

I Would Have Liked to Have a Beer With Him, If Only to Mess with An Alcoholic’s Head

So Bush’s farewell speech was tonight.  I can’t think of anything I care about less.  Planes are crashing in the Hudson and even Bank of America is getting some cash from the govt.  If the speech had Sarah Palin in it, I’d be all over it, but I honestly can’t even work up getting my feathers ruffled about W. anymore.  He fucked up everything, we all know it, the percentage of people who think he did a good job (27%) is exactly the number who disapprove of Obama’s transition, so we have a good estimate on the number of incomprehensibly stupid assholes among the adult population (seems low to me).

In the most charitable spirit I can muster, if I had to think of one good thing the Bush Administration did, it would be expanding Daylight Savings Time a month at either end.  That was rad, even if it gave me a 23-hr birthday this year.  I doubt anyone in the White House really put a lot of thought into it, but it happened on their watch.  So, um, thanks, George.  Now get the fuck to Dallas and get bored!

Five more days.  Say it with me: President Obama.

Conservapedia: Political Correctness

It’s just too funny.

In the universe, where I live, the bloodiest battles over political correctness were fought in the late 80s and early 90s.  But just as the Daughters of the Confederacy are still around, the Gender-Neutral Offspring of the Culture Wars will never die, either.  And while Conservapedia really hates the ACLU, they won’t recognize the tension between the importance of safeguarding free speech and the need to identify and replace terminology that is dangerous or offensive to certain groups.  Oh well.  The highlights:

The modern politically correct movement began at the University of Wisconsin

I didn’t know that!  And how about:

More specifically, groups which (or whose putative “leaders” or other activists) claim some status as systemically oppressed or discriminated against will periodically attempt to change the terms by which they are referred to and demand that society as a whole change its usage of words as well.

To Conservapedia’s credit, they don’t bitch and moan about how black people are allowed to use the N-word but “we” aren’t.  But really, this complaint just laments the annoying right of people not to live under derogatory names other people give them.  What a sin!

Since we’ve lived under the People’s Republic of HillaryCare for the last twenty years, readers ought to be reminded that:

The comprehensive and detailed control of all ideas, beliefs, and statements is one of the most problematic features of totalitarian regime.

Also found under the heading of “Totalitarianism and Political Correctness” (an anchronism totes belied by the invention of PC in Wisconsin):

Political correctness can trace its origins back to the world of 1920’s Germany, where Communist academics sought to impose their Marxist views on students. It is now acceptable in many Universities to have courses on gender, homosexual and African American studies, which, in fact, encourage the mainstream public to become different to avoid criticism.

That’s a real dilly of a pickle.  Imagine, the acceptability of African American studies.  I mean, the gall of learning about black history.  By offering courses on a real thing, universities breed fertile conditions for Nazism, just like those Commie-riddled schools of Weimar Germany.

Guilt by association has now been elevated to the art of guilt by non-sequitur.  Suck it, Conservapedia.

Lemonade Cleanse, Day 5

So I’m over the hump, in terms of hunger and, hopefully, irritability.  Days 3 and 4 are the hardest–I felt that way last year and this year reaffirmed it.  Climbing hills is a struggle.  No amazing sense of smell just yet.  But I’ve eaten fewer lemons than I thought: three every day except for yesterday’s four.

The AM salt water flush is nasty if you don’t drink it quickly.  The colder it gets, the more it’s like swallowing surf in the ocean.  The laxative tea (I use Smooth Move) tastes better than most medicinal teas and this year I haven’t awoken at 5:30 with cramps; it’s more like 7:30 with simply an urgent need to poop.

And poop I do!  The entire cleanse is basically a machine designed to get you to poop frequently and productively without introducing any new solids into your system–except lemon seeds, which I swallow because I’m convinced that seeds of all kinds are good for you.

I did think, both last year and this year, something along the lines of “Well, since I’m not eating or drinking, I won’t be spending any money!”  But it adds up, a little.  Two weeks of four lemons a day is 56.  I got them four to a lb. at the farmer’s market, so that’s $14.  The organic Grade B maple syrup is $17 $7.99 for twelve oz. at Trader Joe’s, and it looks like I might be able to stretch a jar out to a week (I halve the prescribed amount of syrup because I want to purge as much fat as possible–if only to replace it with new fat–and it’s not causing me any agony to do so).  Unless you live in Vermont, where I just assume there is a state-subsidized program for free syrup, you’re going to shell out that much.

The tea was $5 and lasts the entire time, as was the jar of cayenne pepper.  I already had sea salt and I honestly don’t know what that costs.  $5?  You need a bottle graded with amounts on the side so you can see how much you’re filling it up, and you need a Brita.  I’m going to buy probiotics this year, so I don’t experience periodic, um, flatulence.  They can be expensive, but I got sixty for $5 that were the second-highest of the four available grades (also at Trader Joe’s).

Ironically, the one thing I don’t currently have is a scale.  It’s psychologically fulfilling to see your weight drop almost every day, sometimes by 2lbs.  I was pretty erratic last year, though, and this year I just have to judge my by shrinking belly.

Assuming you have those things, the entire cleanse costs $55, plus the probiotics.  Say $100 $75 max, and I’m doing it for $90 $60.  That’s a nice meal, and less than what you would probably spend on food in a week anyway, unless you’re totally broke.  So you are saving money in addition to expurgating the previous year’s toxins out of your system.  You save lots more by not going out or doing anything social whatsoever because everything revolves around food and drink.  I read a lot and I’ve already watched 14 movies in January.

It’s as amazing as it is gross to see your feces days after you last ate something.  The salt water flush comes out of you as if your butt were forcibly spitting, and it’s yellow-brown with mucusy strands of poo.  It’s like what I imagine cholera to be, only controlled.  Nasty, but at least it’s not inside you anymore.  Already I feel my breathing passages opening up in a weird way–not that they were stuffy to begin with–as the body expels mucus.

One of the last taboos is a frank discussion of defecation, when it’s actually the act of eating that’s pretty gross.  Eliminating poison is far better than consuming it.  Not that I’m not looking forward to In-N-Out…

Avocadoes-Gone-Wild

At the farmer’s market down the block every Saturday, I always wonder why, in the land of $1.00/lb heirloom tomatoes and $3.50 10-lb bags of Valencia oranges, you can’t find avocadoes for less than $1 each.  It’s California!  Trader Joe’s in Manhattan has (or had) a “guacamole kit” for $2.99 that contained 2 avocadoes, a tomato, a jalapeno pepper, a lime and a shallot.  Unreal.

Well, there’s this.

I want an avocado tree!  They produce so much fruit you couldn’t eat it all.  I want superabundance in my yard.

Grace Jones Releases New Album

Tom Friedman, Yesterday

It’s beyond axiomatic that you can’t make a living off of writing.  However, if you’re Tom Friedman, you can make a very lucrative living off of writing extremely shittily.  In spite of his noxious, self-serving ideas, I really will never stop my pointless crusade against him on the grounds that he simply can’t write at all.

In yesterday’s column, about the economic stimulus, he writes:

If China and America each give birth to a pig – a big, energy-devouring, climate-spoiling stimulus hog – our kids are done for.  It will be the burden of their lifetimes.  If they each give birth to a gazelle – a lean, energy-efficient and innovation-friendly stimulus – it will be the opportunity of their lifetimes.

Much has gone afoul here.  First, gazelles are agnostic on innovation, as far as I can tell.  Second, the pig seems to eat a stimulus while the gazelle…is a stimulus.  Third, references to “our kids” probably need to be taken as “people who are currently children or who are not yet born” although the median age of a newspaper reader is like ninety-three, so their children are currently adults who will not be inheriting the consequences of “our” stimulus decisions.  So those decisions probs won’t be the opportunity of a lifetime (hyperbole alert) to those who are already middle-aged or not yet alive.  And note how China’s potential bad decision could create huge problems for “our kids,” when the situation at hand is mostly the US’s fault.  I mean, damn.

Goddamnit, doesn’t this man have copy editors?  This is the same NY Times that still says Web site instead of website, so you’d think they’d be sticklers for precision and accuracy.

In terms of actual substance, the column advocates abolishing federal income taxes for public school teachers and double the salaries of math and science teachers so we’re better prepared for stomping on Asia, Friedman’s bete-noire and the continent we will always need to be beating somehow.

Except, what we really need are mathematicians, engineers and scientists.  No tax break for you people, though.  Bunch of nerds.  You get nothing.  Just teachers, of whom we all have fond memories and one of whom is married to Tom Friedman.  Basically, this reasoning is as simplistic as Bill O’Reilly’s, only he isn’t screaming about Reverend Wright or Plaxico Burress.  I mean, how un-clever and un-ingenious are these proposals, really?  This is what he came up with.  He’s such a middlebrow demagogue.  He reminds me of me when I’m really drunk, only he’s not arguing that gay people should get over marriage or that the US should have full employment.  That would be radical.  And to Thomas L. Friedman, anything to the left of Thomas L. Friedman is radical, or loony, or not-serious.  Ask David Brooks.

Lastly, in the print version, the headline-that-goes-in-the-middle-of-the-column-to-catch-your-eye-by-digesting-its-thesis (or whatever the fuck it’s called) reads Can we have a stimulus that also stimulates? Oh, the wordplay.  I’m dazzled!